Advert:Friend Wanted Please Apply Within

Life seem like a constant roller. One minute I think ‘yes I have this whole life thing down’ Ive got a good job, I have a steady set of friends,my finances are doing good and I’m happy. Then it all comes crashing down and I find my job overwhelming, my ‘friends’ have all since disappeared and my finances can be akin to scraping the freezer to find the last of the veg. I always like to think I’m consistent a person. I try so so hard to the friend Id like to have. I go out of my way to get you something that you like, to be there at 2am when you text and carry your bags when you’re out. Trek halfway across wherever I am to get wherever you are. But I’m yet to find someone whose faithful. I find people like me to begin with then drop me like a hot brick when a newer cooler non dorky person comes along. Im not popular. Im the girl who has issues, who doesn’t have it altogether who isn’t skinny, cant apply makeup properly. But I can offer you; loyalty, consistency, someone who would prepared to do what was needed,who can make you laugh, who can cook, who is what you need me to be. Yes I’m hard work at times but am I worth that little that Im not worth sticking around for 😦 I see these best friend memes and I think- I don’t have that. I don’t have that and I want that. What do these people have that I don’t. I want someone to see that I’m not fine, that my laughing is just hiding something. To be able to call up and say ‘hey want to hang out’ to reply to my texts, to just hold me. To laugh with, photograph with and have fun with. I push people away before they can me and I’m just tired. I can’t take this anymore.